“Borderlands”: Expanding the List of Fail Video Game Adaptations 

Based on the video game franchise, Borderlands is already one of the worst films of the year.

Summary

Lilith (Cate Blanchett), a treasure hunter with a sad past, is commissioned to find the missing daughter of a powerful businessman. To achieve that objective, she must go back to her home planet, Pandora.

Her mission will push Lilith to team up with a group of eccentric people to protect a young girl who could be the key to the biggest source of power in the universe.

The Gift of Doing Everything Wrong

When the first reviews for this film started to come out, I believed people might be exaggerating. Not because I did not think Hollywood was capable of such an embarrassment, but because we have seen so much garbage already that I’m losing my capacity to be surprised by it. Besides, I mistrust many of the critics online for a number of reasons.

It turns out that on this occasion, critics were right: Borderlands is a complete disaster. It’s so bad, there’s not a lot to say about it. There is not one thing about the project that can be considered good, or at the very least, redeemable.

As usual, the problem starts with a terrible script that makes absolutely no sense. Instead of showing the audience how this universe works, or defining the characters’ personalities, big chunks of the story are told through exposition dialogue and Lilith’s voice-over. This makes me think that perhaps some scenes were eliminated from the original cut, and the voice-over was a later addition to fill in the blanks.

The cast is full of famous faces, but they are not a good fit for their parts. It does not help that all the characters are basic and annoying. We know nothing about them, what they want, or what motivates their behavior. The performances are over the top to the point of second-hand embarrassment, and the costumes and characterization look cheap. More than professional actors in an expensive Hollywood production, these people look like cosplayers at Comic Con.

The most painful sight is Cate Blanchett, who I consider a great actress, and is completely out of place here. She is way too good for a production like this. Her character, Lilith, is just another girl boss with a tragic past.

And of course, we cannot forget the quality of the sets and special effects. Everything looks fake. I fail to see what they spent the money on.

Video games and Fan Complaints

As some may know, Borderlands is not an original idea but an adaptation of a successful video game franchise of the same name.

One would believe that the smartest idea when it comes to adapting the material would be to appeal to the people who were already fans of the franchise. Considering what they love about the video games and translating it to the screen as faithfully as possible should be a no-brainer.

But we know that people in Hollywood are not famous for being smart. They took the road every failed adaptation has ever taken: pushing fans aside and going out of their way to appeal to the masses. And once again, it didn’t work.

Fans of the video games had many valid complaints, not just with the quality of the movie as a whole. It appears Eli Roth took many creative liberties with the narrative, subverting most of the characters’ backstories and turning them into bland caricatures. Some key characters of the franchise are not even in the film.

Another issue is that Borderlands’ video games are shooters, so they are quite violent. Instead of using that in their favor and going for an R rating, the film ended up being PG-13, limiting what could be shown on screen. This was an obvious move to attract a teenage audience, but it ended up disregarding everything the video game was about.

Is Borderlands the new Madame Web?

I’ve seen this comparison online, and I happen to have the answer: No. Borderlands is way worse. Six months ago I would have never thought I would be defending Madame Web, but here we are.

We can all agree that Madame Web was a terrible movie, but it was bad in a friendly and harmless kind of way. I don’t think anyone would enjoy it unironically, but you can watch it and have fun laughing at it.

Being bad is not Borderlands’ worst crime. Its biggest sin is being so incredibly boring. This film is not even useful as meme material because there is not one performance, one joke, or one plot point that is interesting or remarkable in any way. It is not the kind of film that is so bad it ends up being good. It’s just an uninspired waste of time.

I’m afraid we have hit a new low, not just for adaptations but for movies in general.

Box Office Results

As you may have expected, audiences have not been kind to Borderlands. With an alleged budget of around $115.000.000, the film is struggling to reach $20.000.000 at the global box office.

The reception has been so bad that the theater run cannot be expected to last long. In fact, in my city, it has already been retired from theaters altogether after only one week. No one is interested in seeing this.

So if you haven’t watched it yet, just don’t. I could not recommend it less. Save your money.